


Grief-Anger-Denial-Bargaining-Acceptance

by IJM



Category: General Hospital
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-11-26 12:35:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20930309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IJM/pseuds/IJM
Summary: Franco's own mind is in overdrive after his life is restored post-Flash Drive Drew. Elizabeth and the boys face a new challenge.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not for profit. For entertainment purposes only.

Kevin Collins looked up when the door to his office swung open. His most complicated patient was standing there, a bit worse for wear after an unprecedented attack on his mind.

“My mind keeps telling me to kill myself,” Franco Baldwin announced.

Kevin stood, then approached him, closing the door. “Are you being dramatic, or…?” he let the question dangle. Franco was a passionate artist whose declarations were sometimes the verbalizations of his overreaction to situations.

Franco shook his head. “I don’t think I should be alive, and I am certain I could end things if I didn’t feel like Elizabeth and the boys have been through enough,” he answered in a soft voice. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a matching jacket with his hospital gown.

Kevin helped oversee the procedure that was done to remove the _Drew_ from Franco’s mind. Franco had been in and out of consciousness for about three hours. There had been no indication thus far about the extent of the success. Franco was back, but no one was certain if any of _Drew_ remained or how much of Franco might be missing. Kevin motioned to a chair in his office. “Talk to me.” He flipped over a sign so that a message on the door read “Session in Progress” and he locked the door. Franco appeared lucid.

Kevin sat behind his desk and studied Franco’s features and movements. He had worked with Franco often enough to have an idea of how he responded to stressors when they were in a session. He watched for any of the mannerisms he had noticed in _Drew_. “Why do you want to kill yourself?”

Franco took a deep breath. His voice was shaking. “My brain is broken.”

“Can you tell me more?”

“I’m too vulnerable to brain damage that makes me hurt people. Not just strangers. I hurt people I love.”

“Franco—”

“Don’t call me Franco. I don’t want to be Franco.”

“Drew?” Kevin asked with trepidation.

“Hell no. Don’t call me by that bastard’s name either.”

“Bobby?”

He crossed his arms. “You know I hate Bobby. All this started because of him.”

It was not lost on Kevin that this man had just been addressed by and denied three identities along with placing blame for his childhood misery back on his himself instead of with the adults who caused that anguish. “What do you want to be called then?”

Franco shrugged. “_Nothing_. I don’t want to be called anything. I want to cease to exist so I will stop hurting people.” He added, “And stop hurting.”

“Who are you afraid of hurting?”

“Elizabeth and Cameron and Jake and Aiden. If I can’t be trusted to not hurt them… I can’t be trusted at all.”

“You saved Cameron’s life,” Kevin reminded him.

Franco swallowed the aching tightness in his throat. It didn’t matter much to him that he had put himself in Cameron’s place. All he could see was that he had cheated on his wife and it would break her heart. When he remembered Kim, he was so overwrought with the guilt that had no choice but to seek out Kevin for guidance. He had already broken his marriage vows.

Kevin gave Franco some time to be silent. He had a lot of thoughts and feelings to process after this ordeal and Kevin didn’t want to make assumptions about what Franco remembered. His patient looked upwards. “What are you not telling me?” Kevin asked.

He was unable to maintain eye contact. The weight of his shame felt as if it would physically crush him. He shook his head. “I—” he struggled to form the words. “Had sex with Kim,” he whispered quickly.

Kevin leaned forward. He had been informed that sexual encounter had happened between his patient and his disgraced colleague. The fact that Franco was already in the therapist’s chair after coming back to himself indicated the depth of his internal conflict. 

“I’m not a cheater,” he whispered. He looked up briefly. “I don’t cheat. I’ve never cheated.”

“What do you recall about what happened with Kim?”

“There were words coming out of my mouth that _I_ wouldn’t have said. My body went against everything in my heart. _My heart._ Not Drew’s memories. I wouldn’t have done what Drew did.”

“Did you try to stop it?”

Franco let out a strangled cry, like a trapped animal. “I _couldn’t._ He was walking out the door and she called him back and acted like she believed I was Drew. I couldn’t make him leave.”

“You were aware of what was happening?”

He nodded. “Like watching or even being stuck _inside_ a movie.”

“You didn’t want it to happen?”

“No. Of course I didn’t want it to happen. Why would you ask me that? You know I love Elizabeth.”

Kevin ignored Franco’s defensiveness to focus on getting him to reexamine the circumstances of what had happened. “If you _didn’t want_ it to happen, and you didn’t _have the power to stop it_ from happening, then what alternative was there?”

“I don’t know,” he answered. His voice was still very soft.

“Your autonomy over your own body was forcibly taken away from you—first by Dr. Cabot’s procedure and then by the personality of Drew Cain from 2012. Do you agree with that?”

“I volunteered…”

“To save your child’s life,” Kevin reminded him. “You didn’t respond to an online ad that asked for volunteers for an undocumented, unsafe, and potentially lethal experiment on your brain. Your child was in danger and demonstrated that love that young man more than yourself. You also made it clear to Cameron that you would do whatever it took to get back to Elizabeth. Your wife held onto that promise. You only volunteered to take Cameron’s place. You, _Franco_, did not volunteer to interact with Kim.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Kevin repeated. He knew from Franco’s complicated history that he would find a way to blame himself for the sake of feeling a sense of control. He was already revisiting blame on Bobby. “So, first your autonomy over your body was taken away by Dr. Cabot and Hank Archer. Correct?”

He nodded.

“Then the _Drew Cain_ personality had control. Were you aware when you woke up? How did that happen? How did you realize that you had lost control and _Drew_ was controlling everything you did?”

“No. It wasn’t like that. I didn’t know immediately. I was…” he shrugged. “I don’t know. I wasn’t anywhere. _Asleep?_ It was kind of a come and go thing, but I couldn’t do anything. I would go back to sleep and then I would wake up and still be trapped. It was so strange that I thought I was in a coma or something and having weird dreams at first.”

Kevin gave a tiny wave of his hand. “You have more insight on this than anyone else. My presumption would be that your brain had to heal from the physical trauma that inflicted Drew’s personality on you and when your brain began to heal, you became more aware of Drew’s presence.”

“We can go with that,” Franco shrugged.

“So, what happened to you during this incident with Kim?”

“I wanted it to stop. I begged and screamed for them to stop. No one heard me.” He looked away, “Or no one listened. No one ever listens,” he muttered.

“You said _them._”

“Drew… and Kim.”

“You didn’t want to participate?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m not _that_ weird. Pre-, during-, or post-brain tumor.” It was easy for Kevin to decipher how uncomfortable Franco was about the encounter with Kim.

“So, basically, Kim and Drew used you.”

Franco looked around the room. “Yeah.” His voice was barely audible. “They used me.”

“Without trying to lead you to an answer, I sense that this situation has reminded you of not having control while someone violated your body when you were a child.”

He swallowed. “I’ve never been married before. I’ve never cheated on a girlfriend. And six months into my marriage, this happens. Why do I ruin every good thing that ever happens, Kevin?”

“You didn’t ruin anything. Your body was used in a way that was against your will.”

Franco was squirming in the chair, like he was trying to back away from Kevin. “But it still happened with my body. How can I ever tell Elizabeth? She’s going to hate me.”

“The body responds to the stimuli of touch—sometimes in ways that we don’t want.” Kevin could tell Franco was physically trying to abandon the conversation, even though he didn’t move out of the chair. It also was clear he did not realize Elizabeth already knew.

“If _that_ happened… and Uncle Jim…” His lips were twitching. “Does it mean…”

Kevin gave him some time, but the silence was left hanging. “Does it mean what?”

“That I liked it, even if I didn’t?”

“No.” Kevin’s response was very simple. “No. It means the human body responds to physical stimulation, even if it is in conflict with the human mind.” He rephrased himself because Franco needed the repetition. He often needed a lot of repetition because his progress was usually overtaken by negative thoughts quickly.

“I think I did something wrong.”

“I know you do. But you didn’t. Not with Jim and not with Kim.” Kevin watched Franco closely, glad for the benefit of already having a relationship of trust. He waited. “Do you understand that? Do you understand not having control over your physical response?”

“I guess.”

“If you can’t control it, if you can’t object, if no one listens to your objections, then you were used _against your will_. You were not a participant. You were an _object_. Kim and Drew used you, not all that unlike Jim Harvey did.”

Franco rolled his eyes upward, trying to keep tears from escaping. “I think I might be dead inside.” This memory of Kim ripped away everything he had worked to build with Elizabeth.

“You’re not. You’re in too much pain to be dead.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Stop beating yourself up over this. You didn’t do anything wrong here. But I know you will blame yourself anyway. That’s why I’m here to help you. You need to acknowledge that you had no control in that situation.”

“I’m afraid of not having control.”

“Most people are. Why are _you_ afraid?”

“I do horrible things when I’m not in control.”

“And horrible things are _done to you_ when you’re not in control.” This was another truth Franco needed to have reinforced.

He nodded. “I deserved it. I hurt other people. I deserve to be hurt.”

“When you had a brain tumor, you were a predator. You don’t deny that. That does not exclude you from also being a victim before _or after_ you did horrible things to other people. You have attempted to make amends and you accept that some people will never forgive you. They will move on in their way and you need to move on too. You were doing that until this setback. You had made strides that, frankly, most human beings couldn’t have accomplished. Everyone hurts other people. Not everyone apologizes and tries to make things right.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“Have you told Elizabeth about what happened with Kim?”

“It’s going to hurt her.”

“Yeah, it will,” Kevin agreed. “How much more would it have hurt her if Cameron was walking around with Drew’s memories, pursued Kim, and slept with her?”

“That’s disgusting,” he crinkled his nose at the thought.

“Exactly. You may have saved Cameron from more than just that memory transfer.”

“Kim wouldn’t have slept with Cameron… _would she_? That’s sick. He’s only sixteen. He can’t consent to that.”

“_Neither could you. Neither did you_. Kim cheated on Julian and had sex with you, her friend’s husband, a few days after you suffered major brain damage. I should say she had sex with Drew’s memories but used _you_ to accomplish that.”

“I pursued her, or Drew did. It’s confusing. Maybe Kim was confused.”

“She was aware that you had been subjected to that experiment. She was aware that you thought you were Drew. She was also aware that your real identity is Franco Baldwin and that Franco Baldwin is happily married to his wife and would not have cheated on Elizabeth. It sounds to me like _she_ has some problems. But I’m here to help _you_.”

“I have to tell Elizabeth. What if she doesn’t understand? What if she thinks I wanted to?” He shook his head.

“I agree that you need to talk to Elizabeth about what happened. Maybe let her reach her own conclusions. That woman has fought like hell to protect you. Just remember that.”

“Where do I start?”

“If you don’t have a phone with you, I can call her. Would you like that?”

He inhaled deeply. “I guess the sooner, the better.”

A few minutes later, Elizabeth knocked on Kevin’s door and he let her in. “Thank God! I went back to your room and you were gone, and I had no idea if you had left the hospital.”

“I should have told someone. I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth shook away her panic. Her husband was back, and she wanted him to know she loved him. “You’ve been confused since you woke up. I understand. It just scared me. I never want to lose you again. I just love you so much.”

“Please don’t say that,” Franco told her, his eyes downcast. “Please don’t say that before I tell you what happened.”

Elizabeth sat down in the chair next to his.

“Should I give you two some privacy?” Kevin asked.

Elizabeth looked to Franco for the answer.

“I don’t know.” His eyes had a lost expression.

“Do you still feel like you did when you came to see me?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll take that as a _yes_.” He looked to Elizabeth. “I should stay.”

Elizabeth was concerned. Kevin was not prone to just eavesdrop on private conversations. “What’s going on?” she asked, not particular about who answered.

Franco looked at Elizabeth’s beautiful face and his confession spilled out quickly. “I remember Kim. Things went too far. Kissing her was too far. But it’s worse. It’s so much worse. I didn’t want to be there, but I couldn’t stop her, and I couldn’t control Drew. I did not want it to happen. I swear, _I did not want it to happen._ I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” he repeated.

Elizabeth crawled into his lap and wrapped her arms around him. “I know,” she said, rubbing his back to sooth his pain and her own. She needed to feel her husband in her arms as much as he needed to feel her hands on his body. “I know what happened. I know you wouldn’t have even entertained an idea of being with Kim. That’s not who you are.”

Franco was even more confused. “You don’t seem angry.”

“Oh, I _was_. When it happened. But my anger was at Kim. _Only Kim_. I know you well enough to know that everything that happened with Kim was because your brain wasn’t overtaken by that parasitic douchebag who called himself _Drew Cain_. I’m still angry with Kim and everyone else who tried to tell me you were gone for good. But I’m not focusing on them because I have you back. That’s all I need, Franco. You as you are, the good, bad, and complicated.”

“Please forgive me.”

She put her fingers to his mouth. “Shh. You saved Cameron’s life and identity at the risk of losing yourself. You _did_ lose yourself for a while. Things happened that you bear no responsibility for. _I don’t need to forgive you_. I need to thank you for protecting our son.”

“Thank you for believing me,” Franco leaned his head against her shoulder.

“Babe, you’ve been alert off and on for a few hours and you’ve already told me what happened with Kim. I would have never known if you even remembered if you chose to keep that from me. No one else would have been that honest with me. I don’t have any reason to not believe you.”

“I don’t remember everything,” Franco told her. “There are, like, pieces of a movie reel. But there are blank spaces too. Sometimes it’s like it’s outside of me, like I’m watching it happen. Sometimes it’s like I’m trapped inside and can’t get out.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to remember everything. In fact, the further we can move away from Drew of 2012, the better. I don’t even want you to try to remember because you’ve had too much of your life taken away by that walking, talking flash drive already.”

He nodded, holding onto her. “Would you have told me?” he asked. “If I didn’t remember on my own.”

“Eventually,” Elizabeth answered. “No one knew what to expect from this procedure. I had to prepare for you to be yourself or for it to make you worse…. I thought out a lot of scenarios to prepare myself. If you had not remembered anything, I had no intention of overwhelming you with the information about Kim until you were more fully recovered and secure in my love for you.”

“You wanted to protect me from the truth?”

“I wanted to protect you from being hurt.”

“You’re the strongest person I know. No one has ever protected me before, at least not in a sane way.” Betsy and Heather had done in things in the name of protecting him, but they generally made things worse.

“I know,” she sighed. “You protected our family. My boys. _Our_ boys. I would never be angry at you for something that was done to you. I know you. I know how loyal you are. I trust you completely. And the rest of the world can crawl under a rock and die.”

“And by the rest of the world, you mean Kim?”

“Kim. Dr. Cabot. Henry David Shiloh Archer. Monica. And everyone else who told me to give up,” she clarified with a laugh as she visualized Kim actually crawling under a rock and dying. That rock in Oscar’s Meadow would suffice. “What did Kevin mean when he asked if you still felt the way you did when you came to see him?”

“I thought I had to die… more specifically, I thought I had to kill myself to protect you and the kids. I’m afraid of my brain damage leaving me incapable of controlling my dark side.”

“Franco,” she said his name with a slight sternness. “If you kill yourself after everything the boys and I have gone through since you had a personality transplant, that’s when _I _will never forgive you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you or the boys.”

“Baby, I know that. Cameron knows that. He was there. He’s done his best to help Jake and Aiden understand. I don’t think any of us really grasp how something like this is feasible. But Cam assured the boys you said you would be back. You said it and they believed you. Just like me.”

“He did that?” Franco smiled, or at least tried to smile.

“My darling, you are in for a surprise when it comes to Cameron. He realizes how much you love him. He’s never felt secure about being loved by a father figure. He’s told anyone who would listen that you took his place to keep him safe. He… well, I think he has a lot to say to you.” She swatted his shoulder. “And if you kill yourself, he won’t get a chance to say it and he will blame himself. Do you want that?”

“No.”

“Okay. Look, babe, I know it’s a struggle. I know you get overwhelmed by your own worst-case scenarios because you have lived in worst-case scenarios. But you and your circumstances have changed. Your coping skills have changed. Look at you today—all depressed, guilty, barely awake from a mind-altering procedure, struggling with suicidal ideas; and instead of doing something that would have been regrettable, you came to talk to Kevin. That was reasonable and appropriate. I’m proud of you. Keep doing that. You can always talk to me or Kevin or Scotty. If you need to resort to talking to Liesl or Ava, that’s fine. I’m not going to be jealous because I know who Franco Baldwin loves with his whole heart.”

“Elizabeth Baldwin,” he responded with a genuine smile. Their foreheads were touching in a tender expression of their love.

“Damn straight,” Elizabeth said. “I want to kiss you so badly right now. It’s been way too—” Elizabeth didn’t have a chance to finish her sentence because she was melting into a passionate kiss from her husband.

Kevin looked away, but eventually coughed to remind them they were not alone.

“Oh, hey, Doc,” Franco laughed.

“If you feel better and don’t want to add exhibitionism to your list of quirks, I think we can pick this up again tomorrow.”

“I think I’ll be okay.”

“_Follow-up_, Franco.” Kevin prescribed. “You have so much to sort through. You know it never gets fixed in a single session. I’m concerned about how you handle healing physically and emotionally after this hideous experiment.”

“Thank you,” Franco told him. “You’re really good at your job.”

“Franco, it’s not just a job with you. Psychiatrists don’t get too many checks in the win column. Not that I claim your success as my own, but I like to think I helped.”

Franco clapped his shoulder as he walked past Kevin. “If you want to claim me as a win, you’re welcome to do so. I wouldn’t have gotten here without your intervention.”

“Thank you, Kevin,” Elizabeth told him. She hugged him before she escorted Franco back to his hospital bed.

“I really want to go home and spend some time in our bed,” Elizabeth said as she reattached monitoring equipment and helped Franco get as comfortable as he could on the thin industrial mattress.

“Do I really have to wear all this garbage?” he asked, holding up cables that connected him to monitors.

“Yep. Doctors are sticklers about wanting to know what’s going on when someone has had an experimental procedure. But, for the record, could your New Year’s Resolution for 2020 be _I will not be hospitalized for any reason whatsoever_?”

“Maybe it should be _I will be hospitalized_. I never made a New Year’s resolution that I kept.”

“Whatever keeps you out of _this_ bed and in _ours_.” She rubbed her hand over his chest. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed being with you, touching you, your breath, your heartbeat…” her voice trailed off when she realized the door had opened and they had company.

“Mmm-hmm,” Nurse Epiphany Johnson playfully scolded. “Good thing I decided to check on the patient before I let in visitors.”

Franco was initially hesitant to receive visitors, but that changed when he saw who was there.

“Dad!” Cameron led the charge of three boys who all landed on him within seconds of each other. Cameron threw his arms around Franco. “Is it okay if I call you _Dad_? I wanted to see how you liked the sound of it.”

They were met with an _Oompf _sound as they bombarded Franco all at once. “I love you, Cameron,” Franco said, clinging to the young man. “I love all you.” He was so happy to see Jake and Aiden too. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” he asked Cam.

“Yeah, they hurt me,” Cam told him. “They took you away from me and I watched them do it. It was horrible. I finally saw that you meant it when you said you loved me. But I never got to tell you that I love you too.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Why? You saved me. You kept that weirdo from killing me. You had to _convince_ him to use you and not me. I was scared to death for myself and then for you too. I don’t know if what you said to him was true or not, but no matter what is real about your past, it doesn’t matter. You’re who you are now and that’s enough. _No one_ is better off without you. You’re part of our family. And no one in this family is expendable.”

He blinked back tears. “I love you, kid. All of you.”

“I know you do. I wish it hadn’t taken _this_ for me to believe it.”

“Your safety was worth any price.”

“So, is _Dad _okay?”

Franco smiled again. “Only if you don’t mind me bursting into tears for a couple of months while I get used to it.”

Cameron rolled his eyes. “Deal.” He was sometimes embarrassed by how Franco wore his feelings on his sleeve. It didn’t match how he thought men were supposed to be. He was starting to see that Franco’s heart was too big for to stay confined by societal restraints. 

“Dad!” Aiden and Jake exclaimed. They wanted to follow their big brother’s lead.

“I love that you guys want to call me _Dad_. I don’t want you to strain your relationships with Jason or Lucky though.”

Aiden shrugged. “I haven’t talked to him in forever. Wiley has two dads. Why can’t I?”

“My dad knows how cool you are now,” Jake replied.

“Huh?”

“For real. I kept telling him you were awesome and then after you saved Cameron… he had to admit he might have been wrong about you.”

“Oh, god!” Franco exclaimed. “I’m still delusional.”

Elizabeth laughed. “No, you’re not. Jason has had a change of heart.”

“He has one?” He looked at Jake and quickly apologized. “Sorry. Slipped out.”

Jake laughed. “He’s not like you. He doesn’t have feelings. Well, I mean, he doesn’t… _act like_ he has feelings. He probably does.”

“You sound like an adult, Jake. How long have I been out of my own mind anyway? Aiden’s grown a good foot and a half.”

Aiden giggled. He had grown a few inches.

“It’s been hard lately,” Cameron admitted.

“Well, something has to be done about that. I need to come home so you kids can be kids and your mother can be treated like the queen that she is. How does that sound?”

The three boys expressed themselves in different ways but were all unanimous in their excited approval.

“Okay, so your mission is to go tell any doctor you see that you want your _dad_ back home tonight. Can you do it?”

“We’re on it!” Jake announced.

“Supervise them,” Elizabeth told Cameron. He nodded and left his parents alone in the room.

“Did you know that was going to happen?”

“I might have had an idea,” Elizabeth kissed his forehead. She was startled when his body became suddenly rigid and his limbs began to flail. The room was filled with the dissonance of several monitors alerting emergencies at once. Elizabeth was pushed aside by Liesl Obrecht who was barking orders at Epiphany and Amy Driscoll.

Elizabeth watched her husband seizing for what seemed like forever. She was unable to jump into action. Just when she thought her world was being set right, her hope for normal was gone in a flash.

“I was afraid this could happen,” Liesl told Elizabeth. “Nurse Baldwin,” Liesl’s voice was harsh and it snapped Elizabeth to attention. “As I was saying, I was afraid this could happen. That was almost two minutes.”

Elizabeth inhaled sharply. “What’s next?”

“I gave him an anti-convulsant. You know that.”

“Yeah, she nodded. Do you think it will happen again?”

“I would give you an answer if I had one.” Liesl told her. “No one has done this before.”

“But you knew it could happen.”

“Elizabeth, you knew it could happen too. Any kind of brain trauma.” She didn't complete the thought. She had said enough that Elizabeth understood perfectly. 

Elizabeth was surprised by the doctor’s softer tone and use of her first name.

“I will get him through this. Or, I will help _you_ get him through this.”

“I believe you.” Elizabeth saw Cam standing near the doorway, one hand on each of his younger brothers, holding them back from their parents. They all looked fear stricken. “Did you all see that?”

“We heard the monitors going off,” Cam answered. “I should have kept Jake and Aiden outside, but…”

“We’re not babies,” Jake told his brother. “We want to help too.”

“There’s a girl in my class who has seizures,” Aiden said. “She has a dog that tells her when she’s going to have one. Can we get Franco a dog?”

“He had _one_ seizure,” Elizabeth told them. “It’s a bit early to involve a canine.”

“We should get Franco a dog anyway,” Jake said. “Just to be safe. Besides, he likes dogs.”

“Take them home,” Elizabeth told Cameron, exasperated.

Liesl seemed amused when she had Elizabeth’s attention again. “I believe I know some children who want a pet.”

“It never ends,” Elizabeth chuckled. “I guess we’re in a watch and wait situation here.”

“You are correct. You watch and I’ll wait.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Once more, Kevin was startled by the appearance of his most complicated patient. This time his door slammed, and Franco walked in and sat down without asking if he had time for an impromptu appointment.

“What’s up?” Kevin asked casually. He had mastered the ability to remain calm so that his patients had a safe space that didn’t feed into their negative emotions. 

“I was just strolling around the hospital with Epiphany. I’m not sure why. There’s not a damn thing wrong with my legs.”

“You had an intense seizure. She’s—”

“I _know_ what she’s doing,” he snapped. “Coordination. Muscle tone. Balance. Equilibrium. All that shit.”

“Are you angry with Epiphany?”

Franco glared at Kevin. “I’m not brave enough to be angry with Epiphany.”

“Really, no one is,” Kevin offered. Franco’s demeanor was entirely different than the last time he had seen him. “Why are you angry?”

Franco sighed. “I saw Dr. Nero. Kim. I guess we should be on a first name basis since we had sex, right?”

“Did you say anything to each other?”

He shook his head. “I think she was going to say something, but when I saw her, I… bolted. I just couldn’t look at her. I’m a great big chicken.”

“Why?”

“I saw her, and I had these flashes of what happened. It made me sick. It made me angry. So, I came to see you. I don’t know what to do with anger.”

“Painting usually helps you.”

“Why is she allowed to take care of women and babies? She should be locked up in Shadybrook. She—she encouraged Drew to stick around. She wanted to leave with him.” He shook his head. “She’s a doctor. Why didn’t she call Elizabeth and tell her that her brain damaged husband was at her apartment, completely delusional? I know she’s grieving, but, god, that doesn’t make it okay.”

“Doesn’t make what okay?”

“You know what.”

“Define it.”

Franco huffed. His mouth opened as if he were going to say something, but he couldn’t.

“What did Kim do wrong?”

“Are you defending her?” His eyes narrowed in anger.

“No, Franco. I’m asking what Kim did to make you angry.”

“She—she betrayed Elizabeth. She didn’t care about destroying Elizabeth’s family or Cameron’s family. Oscar had approximately three friends and Cameron was good to him. She put a roll in the hay with a phantom memory ahead of real people.”

“You’re angry that she hurt Elizabeth and Cameron?”

“She made everything worse. She made Drew think they could have a future which is ridiculously stupid because that Drew wasn’t even real. He was data and electricity.”

“She hurt Elizabeth, Cameron, and Drew.” Kevin summarized.

“Yes.”

“But you just said Drew wasn’t a real.”

“He used to be. I guess. But he’s not me.”

Kevin nodded, encouraging Franco to tell him more.

“I’ve never cheated on anyone. Kim knows I would not have had sex with her. I may be a horrible person with a horrible past, but I’m loyal.” Franco continued when Kevin gave him one of his questioning expressions. “She… I don’t know if she _made me_… but she _took advantage_ of my brain injury and delusions. She had sex with my body, even though I wasn’t there. She _knew_ I wasn’t there. She knew Drew wasn’t real. She said that. She knew I was Franco, but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t make Drew stop… this is so confusing. Couldn’t she have at least waited until Elizabeth and Dr. Maddox or Liesl had a chance to repair the damage? God, it had only been a _few days_.”

“Nothing you’re saying is unreasonable,” Kevin told him. “Kim did know the situation. That alone should have been enough. But you’re right. It’s not the only thing she should have considered. Elizabeth is her friend. Cameron was Oscar’s friend. You hadn’t healed from the first procedure and it was too early to try another. Neither Dr. Maddox nor Dr. Orbrecht were prepared for another procedure to restore you to yourself. It was going to take time that she didn’t let anyone have.”

“Am I wrong to be angry though? It was _my_ mouth telling her Drew loved her. I guess he did love her, but… it was _my body_.”

“Franco, she knew you were not Drew. She told you that.”

“I couldn’t stop it,” he sighed, feeling more defeated and less angry than he had been.

“That’s why she should have.”

“She was grieving and desperate. Shouldn’t I consider that? Did she know I couldn’t stop t? Does it mean something that I couldn’t say _no_ to her?”

“Does it?”

“I’m asking you.”

“Kim is not my patient. You are. You said you felt like she took advantage of the situation. She took advantage of you. You said you believe that she knows you would not have slept with her.”

“I don’t know if I’m allowed to feel that way.”

Kevin tilted his head slightly. “Why is that?”

“I’ve done so many horrible things. Don’t I deserve this? It’s like God shows you what happiness is so it hurts more when you lose it. I know I don’t deserve to be happy. I deserve to be punished. But Elizabeth doesn’t. Cameron didn’t deserve to go through that kidnapping and threat on his life.”

“Cameron’s kidnapping was unrelated to anything you’ve ever done. If you want to bring God into the equation, I feel pretty confident that _no one_ would _deserve_ to be happy.”

“I’m confused,” Franco stated again. Kevin noticed how often he used the word to describe himself. “I want to know what I’m supposed to feel and what I’m supposed to do.”

“You were very depressed when you came to see me recently. This time you were very angry when that door opened. You just said you think you deserve what happened because of God’s divine retribution. Depression, anger, bargaining… do you see where I’m going?”

“You think I’m grieving?” he asked, recognizing some of the well-known “stages of grief.”

“Are you?”

“Don’t you have to lose something to grieve?”

“You _have_ lost something. You have lost your sense of identity. I don’t mean believing you were Drew Cain for a brief time. You identified yourself today and in our last session as someone who doesn’t cheat. You added today that you’re loyal. You recently got married and part of you feels like you cheated on your wife. That conflicts with the part of yourself that you value, the part of yourself that you think is worthwhile. Franco, you barely cling to the idea that you have _any worth at all_ most of time. You lost something, or _think_ you lost something, that you had worth to you.”

“But why does it bother me? It was just sex right. Isn’t that how I’m supposed to see it? No big deal, right? I’ve had one-night stands and not felt much of anything.”

“When you were single.”

“Elizabeth being in my life changes the way I look at everything.”

“Tell me about that.”

“I want to do the right thing. _All the time_. She deserves that in a partner. She’s special.”

“You want to be the person you think she deserves.”

“Yeah. That person wouldn’t cheat on her.”

“You didn’t cheat on her.”

“It happened.”

“Not with your consent.”

“Is that true? Does Kim know that?”

“Franco, I know it is difficult to accept being victimized.”

Franco clenched his fists when Kevin called him a _victim_. He didn’t like that word.

Kevin saw his reaction and purposefully repeated the offending word. “No one wants to accept being a victim. You have a mindset from when you were a child that somehow the bad things that happen to you are of your own doing. Even your view of God is a being who uses happiness to make sadness hurt even more. You seem to think God is a sadistic being. Why is that?”

Franco was hesitant to answer the question. He had probably been stupid to even bring up the idea of an almighty deity. Kevin would hold out, waiting for an answer. “God…” He paused, hesitant to finish speaking his thought aloud. “The Father. That’s what I always hear about God. He’s the father. But Scotty isn’t like that. He’s a good guy. He loves me.”

“You had a concept of God before you had a concept of Scott.”

“Hmm?” Franco grunted, working his thoughts around that statement.

“You’re concept of a father came from your childhood. For you, a father is someone who doesn’t want you. A father is someone who abuses you, threatens you and the people you love, hurts you and tells you that _you made him_ hurt you. He traded toys for your dignity and security. He made you believe you were solely responsible for protecting your brother and your mother from harm. Your perceptions were distorted by manipulation. I believe your view of God is through the lens of Jim Harvey.”

“I don’t know if I even believe in God. Life is too chaotic for some powerful being to be pulling the strings.”

“Some people find comfort in their spiritual beliefs.”

“Maybe, for some people, God exists because it’s easier to blame a deity than to live in a world that’s up to chance. If there’s a God, then everything happens for a reason. If there’s no God, then some people can’t find… hope.”

“What do you think?”

Franco shrugged. “I should be dead. Instead, I’m in love with Elizabeth and she loves me back. Even her kids love me. I don’t deserve that at all. It’s like something gave me mercy when I should have gotten punishment.” Franco shrugged. “Maybe that’s why some people are devout. Doesn’t it make me weird to even care about this Kim thing?”

“Why would it?”

“I don’t know. Men aren’t supposed to be victims.”

“Are you a victim?”

Franco rubbed his head, pained by the thought. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t care. I shouldn’t be embarrassed. I shouldn’t feel guilty. At some point, I would just like to be a normal person who thinks and feels normal things.”

“Maybe you are.”

“Now you’ve lost me.”

“Maybe you have the insight to confront and analyze feelings that other men might have, but aren’t brave enough, or self-aware enough to do.”

“Analyzing it doesn’t change what happened.”

“It’s not meant to change the past. It’s meant to help you understand the present. Elizabeth doesn’t hold you responsible for what happened with Kim. Your wife—the _only _person whose opinion matters other than yours—doesn’t believe you did anything wrong. She, like you, thinks Kim took advantage of you.”

Franco covered his face with his hands, demonstrating his frustration. “How will I be able to work here and see her all the time?”

“Restraining order?” Kevin suggested.

“On what grounds?”

“You’re in a unique position, for sure. If it’s something you want to pursue, your father would be more qualified to answer your questions than I would.”

Franco shook his head. “No. I’m not doing that. Scotty, Elizabeth, everyone needs to move on.”

“Can you move on if you might see Kim every time you come to work?”

“That’s what I have to do,” Franco said. It was suddenly very clear to him. “The more attention I give her, the more power she has. The more she thinks she can get to Drew through me, the less likely she is to give up. If I got a restraining order it would only make her think that I am afraid Drew will come back to her. He won’t. I’m not going to let my fear allow her to think that it’s possible.”

“Fear of what?”

Franco was disappointed in himself for using a word Kevin would pick out and run with for his line of questioning. “I’m not even sure. Maybe I just don’t want to remember what happened.”

“You’re bound to see her.”

“I don’t have to acknowledge her. I won’t. If she tries to sell me on her great love for Drew, I’ll walk away.” He sounded resolved.

“How is your level of anger?”

Franco looked up, surprised to be asked about anger. It had simply evaporated as he talked to his therapist. “I’m not mad at all.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“You know, you’re pretty good at this.”

Kevin chuckled. “So, I hear.”

“Thanks, Doc. I’ll get out of your hair. Next time I’ll make an appointment.” He paused.

“Unless I don’t. In which case, I’ll see you whenever.”

Kevin nodded. He had no expectation that Franco would stick to pre-scheduled appointments. If the man was less fascinating, Kevin would have established that boundary long ago. As it was, he was enthralled with witnessing Franco’s mind working in real time. “Until whenever.”


	3. Chapter 3

Elizabeth woke up before the alarm was set to sound a new day into motion. She propped on one elbow, watching Franco sleep. He was home in their bed, and she was grateful every morning when he was next to her. She had stopped waking up in the middle of the night because she reached for him and he wasn’t there. He was back with her where he was supposed to be.

His breathing was steady, and he looked at peace. He slept more soundly now than he ever had before, likely due to the medications he had to take daily. He was on a regimen to combat the frequent seizures that had plagued him after the procedure to restore his memories. His doctors had been apologetic that the procedure left undesirable side effects, but Elizabeth and her family were so thankful to have Franco back—without any traces of Drew—that they gladly adjusted to the changes. 

Franco and Elizabeth now occupied what had been the “guest bedroom” downstairs. A bit of remodeling had made the new master bedroom bigger and made the lower floor of the house more accessible. It was decided that it was in Franco’s best interest to avoid using stairs when possible. Because his experience was unique, predicting side-effects was difficult. His doctors tended to err on the side of caution. They suggested preparing for any foreseeable possibilities. Still, things were not drastically different than before his brain had become an experimental zone.

Elizabeth had never wanted to add a pet to their full house, but as Franco’s seizure disorder lingered for months without marked improvement, she welcomed Mipsy as a full-fledged member of the family. Mipsy was a black and white border collie mix that had been rescued from a shelter as a puppy and trained in a prison rehabilitation program used to give purpose and hope to inmates. She was surrendered by a breeder whose female had been impregnated by an unknown source and he deemed the puppies inferior. It was a ridiculous assumption to have made about her or her littermates.

The entire Webber-Baldwin family was certain that Mipsy was the smartest dog in the world. She was able to respond to Franco’s seizures and protect him to some extent. She could place her body under his head if he fell. She could also lay herself over his body to counter flailing limbs as necessary. Somehow, she knew what issues took precedence and always acted appropriately. She even knew how to find another person to help if he lost consciousness. 

Thanks to the medication, Mipsy, and having a wife with the same employer, Franco was able to keep his job as the art therapist. Elizabeth’s schedule was predictable now. She never had to pull night shifts anymore because her shifts were always aligned with her husband’s. Mipsy was such a star at General Hospital that she had been given her own employee badge to wear with her service dog indicator gear. In addition to working in Art Therapy, Franco and Mipsy were now ambassadors to children, veterans, psychiatric patients, parents of children with special needs, and injured parties who might also benefit from a service animal or just from a visit from a therapist and his dog. He explained the benefits of a service animal and how to acquire one almost daily. Mipsy was practically a therapist in her own right. Nothing seemed to brighten a hospital patient’s day more than a visit from a well-trained animal.

Elizabeth saw Franco’s lips curl into a smile. “You’re staring at me again,” he whispered.

“Guilty.” Elizabeth admitted. “I am so happy you’re here.” Months had passed since Franco had come back to her, but she didn’t take a single day for granted.

“I don’t want to be anywhere else—and anyone who claims otherwise is lying. Even if it’s me,” he chuckled. He clicked his tongue and Mipsy crawled to the front of the bed beside him. “Who’s a good girl?” he asked, scratching behind her ears.

“It’s almost time to get up for work,” Elizabeth said. “You want first dibs on the shower?”

He sighed. “I’m not sure it’s safe to shower alone.”

Elizabeth laughed. They had this conversation so often that it had become a running joke.

There was a knock on the bedroom door. They were expecting it.

“Come in,” Elizabeth called out.

“Hey, Mippers. Wanna go outside?” Cameron asked. The boys took turns taking care of Mipsy in the morning while their parents got ready for work. In fact, it was the one chore the boys practically fought over doing.

“Good morning to you too,” Franco laughed. He and Elizabeth knew they ranked well under the dog now.

“Oh, hey, Dad. Hey, Mom. Cameron said. “I just came to take Mippers outside and feed her and all that stuff.” Cameron realized when Franco was recovering from the memory restoring procedure that he felt like his seizures were making him a burden on the family. To that end, Cam discussed his observations with his mother and brothers, and they vowed to never let Franco feel that away again. Cameron was particularly sensitive to Franco’s insecurities because he still struggled with blaming himself that the procedure had happened at all.

“Mippers says thank you,” Elizabeth told him. “Your dad and I both have to shower and get dressed. We’ll be out soon. Can you get Aiden to pop something in the microwave for breakfast?”

“You don’t really expect Aiden to use a microwave, do you?” Cam laughed. He put Mipsy’s leash on her. “We’ll see. Baby girl needs to go potty.” He led the dog out of the room. He found himself behaving more responsibly that ever before. Franco was now unable to drive, so Cam often ran errands or took his brothers to their activities. Joss once told him that he didn’t get to have much time to be a kid. Cam cared a lot more about having a dad and a loving, complete family than he did about going to parties or football games. 

“I love that kid,” Franco said, watching the boy he claimed as his son take care of the dog.

“I know. Best of all, he knows.” She kissed his cheek. “You’re the only dad my boys have ever been able to depend on.”

Franco was happy to fill that bill, but sad for the kids that it was a position that needed to be filled. He had grown up without a father and nothing good had come from it. Knowing Elizabeth’s kids, he could not imagine how or why any man would choose to be absent from their lives.

“Still, the boys could have just asked for a dog. They didn’t have to throw together this elaborate scheme to force us to get her.”

Elizabeth laughed. Franco’s moods were steadier now, months removed from the memory restoring procedure. She credited several things for his happiness: knowing for sure how much she and the boys loved him; the benefits of having Mipsy; continued work with Kevin; his work with so many patients and introducing them to the notion of a therapy dog; and—most of all—Kim Nero had slinked off into the unknown and hopefully, the _never to be known again_.

After they were dressed and ready for the day, Elizabeth and Franco sat down to have breakfast with the kids. Aiden had thrown together what he called a scrambled omelet. It was just scrambled eggs with cheese, crumbled pre-cooked bacon, and chives added. The morning rush didn’t allow him time to properly flip the eggs to make uniform omelets. He was willing to sacrifice presentation in the mornings. 

“This is delicious,” Franco told the cook. “Thanks for making us a hot meal to start the day.”

“You have to eat well,” Aiden told him. As the boys realized Franco’s seizures were not going to be a short-term side effect, each eventually took the initiative to learn about seizure disorders. One of the side effects could be low blood sugar and Aiden decided his job was to make sure the family ate more stable and healthy foods than they had for years. He had developed an interest in nutrition and was talking about potentially becoming a dietician when he was an adult.

They heard the school bus rumbling toward the house and all three kids quickly got their things together to go outside. After quick hugs and goodbyes, they were gone.

Franco started clearing the dishes. He leaned down and kissed the top of Elizabeth’s head. “I love our chaos,” he told her.

She looked up and put her hand on his cheek. “I love _this _chaos. I can live without serial killers, crazy cult leaders, and your brain being scrambled.”

“And that was just in 2019,” Franco told laughed. “At least we’re not boring.”

“I would be okay with some boredom,” Elizabeth joined him in cleaning up the breakfast dishes. She then retrieved his medications from an upper cabinet and picked out the morning doses. She insisted that she had control of his medications because he could experience forgetfulness or confusion and was not always sure if he had taken his medication or needed to take it. It was one of those things they figured out over time. This simply worked best.

Franco took his pills with some water. “I guess we could watch the Golf Network. There is a Golf Network, right? Is that a year-round sport?” He put the last of the dishes in the sink to soak.

“I have no idea,” Elizabeth answered. She took his shirt in her hands and pulled him close to her. “I’m so glad you’re not a sports enthusiast. You’re my art geek and I love it.” She gave him a quick kiss.

“Geek?” he asked, pulling away from her. “Should I be insulted?”

“Jake said that once—that you were total art geek, but that he was too. He looks up to you so much.”

Franco smiled. For most of his life, he thought that he was the kind of person who was incapable of ever having a family.

“You bring out the best in the boys,” Elizabeth told him. “Cameron has grown up so much. Knowing he has parents he can rely on has made him strong and loyal. Jake doesn’t appear to have any PTSD from his time with Helena and that’s because of you and your art therapy. And Aiden—my little Aiden would probably still be bullied for being different. But you encouraged his interests and made him feel like it was okay to be himself.”

“You’re giving me way too much credit. Those boys are strong and secure because _you’re their mother_ and you love them. You let them be kids. You protected them. I came to the party late. You’re the MVP of the household.”

“You came to the party at exactly the right time.”

“Maybe so,” he agreed. “Maybe the insanity is behind us now.” He gave her a quizzical glance to see if she thought so as well.

“_Not likely_,” they said in unison.

Even in this reprieve of normalcy, they suspected more insanity and drama was lurking in their future. Maybe it was something about the town of Port Charles… but it was all going to be okay because they were solid and could face whatever life had in store for them.

\--END

_I’m thinking of doing some little one-shot stories about the adventures of Franco and Mipsy. Is that something you would be interested in reading? LMK! Thanks for your support and feedback! _


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